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Movies you missed me not missing – one sentence reviews (part 3)

xmen-days-of-future-past how-to-train-your-dragon2 snowpiercer the-nut-job Captain-America-The-Winter-Soldier-IMAX-Poster guardians-of-the-galaxy

During my hiatus from blogging, I saw a bunch of movies.  And I didn’t review or mention them here.  I know, you’re crushed. So here I continue a series of one sentence reviews of most of the movies I watched between 2 December 2013 and 5 September 2014.

  • X-Men: Days of Future Past – A pleasant and fun addition to the X-Men series, as long as you don’t think about how the stupid time-travel tale works.
  • How to Train Your Dragon 2 – A well-meaning addition to the franchise that was, to my mind, too “talky.”  It’s supposed to be about dragons, not feelings.
  • Snowpiercer – A pleasant and fun scifi action film with an Asian feel (the axe fight felt like The Raid or similar films), as long as you don’t think about how the stupid train is supposed to work.
  • The Nut Job – Squirrels on a caper: about what you’d expect.
  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier – The best of the Marvel superhero movies thus far, with solid character development and a real plot.
  • Guardians of the Galaxy – A great team up action scifi movie directed by James Gunn, the genius behind Slither.

Apocalypse Z: The Beginning of the End – A zombie novel you’ve read before

Apocalypse ZApocalypse Z: The Beginning of the End
by Manel Loureiro

When the zombie disease spreads throughout the world, a lawyer in Spain finds himself trapped in his home, with just a cat and his blog (later, his journal) to keep him company.  As society falls apart, our protagonist learns to deal with the dead, working his way across the zombie-infested landscape, looking for a place to hide from the plague.  Written in an epistolary style, Loureiro’s zombie novel is a decent addition to the genre, but it has very little new to offer.  A few thoughts:

  • Loureiro’s zombies follow the same rules as Max Brooks’ zombies, and this could very well be subtitled “a novel of World War Z.”
  • Unlike most zombie novels, the narrator never really gets very good at killing zombies.  He makes it sound very difficult, and dangerous every time.  The only effective tool he has is his spear gun, and he keeps having to leave the spears for fear of infection or lack of time to retrieve them.
  • The zombies in the novel are a weird mix of overwhelming and stupid.  I like his assertion that they can sense life, more than just see or smell it (though before we really get into that part of it, we’ve finished the novel).
  • One lesson we might learn from this is the way governments would likely exacerbate a zombie outbreak by refusing to share key information about what they are and how to stop them.  One imagines that had the first government to encounter the outbreak properly shared the techniques for dealing with it, there would have been no novel to write.
  • Of course, Mira Grant’s FEED imagines that many people in our world would be saved because we’ve seen zombie movies and would know what to do.  Loureiro fails to address this question, putting Apocalypse Z in a nearby alternate universe where no zombie movies exist.

Overall, Loureiro’s Apocalypse Z is an amusing tale, but one wholly within its genre, bending few rules and breaking none.  If you haven’t read very many zombie novels, it might feel like a fresh story, but for the more experienced reader, you should give it a miss.

Cabin Fever is not a zombie movie, but it feels like one

Cabin FeverCabin Fever

I knew the early Eli Roth movie Cabin Fever is not a zombie movie before I watched it, but it comes up in the recommendations and mentions of such films that I thought it would be a nice change of pace.  The story tells the tale of five college students who travel to a cabin in the woods and … mayhem and madness breaks out.  Only instead of it being because of a zombie outbreak or a spare copy of the Necronomicon, this one happens because of a flesh-eating virus that makes people a little manic and a lot infectious.

A few thoughts about the film (somewhat spoilery):

  • The beginning of the film is too knowing, quite aware that it’s playing into the usual genre but at the same time not twisting it enough.  Watch this film next to Cabin in the Woods to see how pastiche/bricolage can effectively become satire.  This movie is too close to the genre to work well as commentary on it.  This reification of the genre expands in its characters, a cartoonish set of characters that model quite overtly the five archetypes in Whedon’s film.
  • Where we see a change is in the way the characters themselves behave.  Early on, we think maybe the kids going to the cabin are enjoyable avatars for ourselves.  Not so — very quickly they become the worst, abandoning one another, stealing and lying and generally dropping all their humanity at the first sign of trouble.  But this makes their eventual demise in the second half more enjoyable.  We don’t want to see them punished for sex or partying, but for being awful people.
  • The ending which sets up the sequels nicely.  I will certainly watch at least the first, as these are likely to be enjoyably stupid as well.
  • Not surprisingly, the movie consistently reinforces the urban/rural divide, marking the rural as a dangerous place where urban folk had best not go.  On the other hand, the city folk seem deserving of all the ire heaped on them, and the clever reversal of the old shopkeeper’s racism works as a good overturning of the original split.
  • Last, while the movie fits many of the tropes of the horror genre, it’s just as much as fiasco movie (like Blood Simple or Fargo), with the flesh-eating virus destroying people just as effectively as greed does.

Better than I thought it would be, but not really a horror movie, nor a zombie movie.  But it feels like part of a conversation about them.

Sappy vs. Humor/horror – Simon Birch and Frankenweenie

Simon Birch Frankenweenie

Simon Birch and Frankenweenie

Every now and again, I page through the upcoming movies on the channels we get to see what might be worth recording for a casual future viewing.  This net caught both films reviewed here today. Frankenweenie expands Tim Burton’s famous early film (which Disney did not like, at the time) about a boy who brings his dog back from the dead.  It’s a low dramatic arc with high drama and a good story. It’s also full of truly funny animation. Simon Birch is a famously maligned tear-jerker from the late 90s that adapts one of my favorite novels (A Prayer for Owen Meany) by cutting it in half and distilling out the complexity with sap.

A few thoughts on these tales:

  • We have, in these two films, a clash of worldviews.  Neither stories want us to accept death as a random shitty fact of life, but rather to understand it in the larger context as either something God wants or science will help us overcome.
  • Both tales cut significant lessons from their source texts. Frankenweenie dodges the problem of scientific ethics by infusing love as one of the ingredients.  Victor’s experiment worked because he loved his dog, whereas the monsters created by the other experimenters were not loved in the same way.  Shelley’s horror at the dangers of science go missing from the tale. Simon Birch dodges the complexity of its title character by making him a saintly martyr, confident in his life because God has a plan for him.  Irving’s novel gives its title character much more complexity, makes him a regular person with all sorts of faults.Both films stand on a scaffold of old tropes, as well.
  • Simon Birch uses so many tear-jerker cliches, you’ll want your bingo card out.  We have the heroic disadvantaged person, a romantic/ expressionist world where God shines His love down via swirling leaves (hence making October the holiest month), stereotypical bullies, tweenage boy resentful of his mother’s suitor, lingering by gravestones, and the dramatic sacrifice that Makes It All Worth It. Frankenweenie uses old tropes in a winking way, rewarding fans of old Universal horror films with character names, set pieces, plot points, and other references.  My favorite, a dramatic chase that leads to a flaming windmill.
  • I love the casts of both films. Frankenweenie employs to great effect the voices of Catherine O’Hara, Martin Short, Martin Landau, and Winona Ryder.  Meanwhile, Simon Birch surrounds the eponymous protagonist with Joseph Mazello (the boy from Jurassic Park), Ashley Judd, Oliver Platt, Jan Hooks, David Strathairn, and Dana Ivey as grand mother (a character actress you’d recognize as “offended upper-class lady” from all sorts of movies).

Frankenweenie is worth a watch, a cute evocation of old movies that has both cleverness and heart.  Simon Birch has solid Oliver Platt time, which is always a good thing, but is otherwise just the schmaltzy tale you probably thought it was.  Go read A Prayer for Owen Meany instead.  It’s probably more schmaltzy than I remember, but it’s also certainly better than the film.

Get the F*ck out of London, You Goddamn Zombies! (Cockneys vs. Zombies)

Cockneys vs. ZombiesCockneys vs. Zombies is a solidly enjoyable zombie comedy, which great production values, a funny scenario, and a bit of pathos.  The film follows two storylines during a zombie outbreak in East London — a group of old-age pensioners trying to survive as their caregivers and the people in streets around them all succumb to the zombie outbreak and a pair of misfit bank robbers who happen to rob a bank at the exact moment the zombie outbreak begins.  It’s a silly movie in the vein of Shaun of the Dead, but without quite as much pathos.  In fact, it would be easy to imagine this as part of the same world — except that the zombie outbreak comes from a sealed plague pit rather than from outer space.

A few thoughts:

  • As far as the genre goes, the film doesn’t add much to it.  The undead in this film come from the comedy zombie well — hilariously slow, only kinda dangerous when it fits the narrative that they need to be.  The outbreak progresses far too fast given their ineptness, but otherwise this is exactly what you’d expect from a zombie comedy.
  • But the film itself does a few things really well.  First, it offers a bunch of nice set-pieces, places for the characters to go and quarrel and for the story to evolve.  And following two sets of survivors gives the variety that some zombie films fail to provide.  Second, the filmmakers use Family Guy style flashbacks, showing us moments from the characters’ back stories as cut-away scenes.  Very funny and well done.
  • The film makes great use of its environment as well.  The East End is a famously working-class area of the city, always under pressure from gentrification and class issues.  The underlying storyline is pretty sad, if you think about it.  The two main characters take up bank robbery so they’d have enough money to save their grand-dad’s old-folks home from developers.
  • The soundtrack is pretty great, with a closing credits song that’s an instant earworm (or really annoying, depending on your taste).
  • Cockneys vs. Zombies plays on the inherently funny cinematic vision of elderly people doing things we normally reserve for younger folk.  Particularly satisfying is the sequence with character actor Richard Briers shooting an Uzi from his walker, and every sequence involving Alan Ford (“Brick Top” from Snatch).  That said, both RED and Kung-Fu Hustle tell this joke better.

The film does have several great conceits, which I’ll detail below the picture, so if you don’t want to read them, you can stop now.  It’s a fine B movie, and worth a watch if you’re a zombie fan.

Ashley Thomas as the crazy robber
Ashley Thomas as Mental Mickey, the crazy guy with a bunch of guns.

Moments to watch for (Spoilers):

  • We see some football hooligan zombies who haven’t lost their taste for a rumble.
  • Richard Briers shows up as Hamish, a walker-bound pensioner who sleeps through the first round of the zombie attack, and then has a tense race with some zombies.
  • Another of the great characters is Eric, a pensioner whose rhyming slang has gotten way out of control, with five or six or more steps to transform his phrases into common English.  It’s funny as long as you don’t recognize it as a sign of dementia.
  • Perhaps the best zombie moment is when the bank robbers try to kill the now-zombified crazy thug — played with great joie de vivre by Ashley Thomas — only to remember that he has a metal plate in his head from his military service.

* Thanks to Scott Kenemore, author of several great zombie books for recommending this. (See also: Zombie, Ohio; Zombie, Illinois; Zombie, Indiana)

Tweets from 2014-10-12 to 2014-10-18

Movies you missed me not missing – one sentence reviews (part 2)

rio 2 room 237 Cloud Atlas Amazing Spider Man 2 Machete Planes: Fire and Rescue

During my hiatus from blogging, I saw a bunch of movies.  And I didn’t review or mention them here.  I know, you’re crushed. So here I continue a series of one or two sentence reviews of most of the movies I watched between 2 December 2013 and 5 September 2014.

  • Rio 2 – Amusing but pretty mediocre. Happily, it continues the attempted redemption of the nerd via bird fables.
  • Cloud Atlas – Good storytelling that, like the book, feels connected for a purpose that does not reveal itself.
  • Room 237 – Amusing demonstration of the dangers of close reading.  Will likely motivate you to re-view The Shining.
  • The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – Amusing but pretty mediocre.  Happily, it continues the attempted redemption of the nerd via superhero fables.
  • Machete – About what you’d expect, in a great way.
  • Planes: Fire and Rescue – Amusing but pretty mediocre.  This tale describes the plight of the aging athlete through the lens of talking planes and cars.


The Death Star Contractor problem and Agents of SHIELD

Watching episode 203 of Agents of SHIELD (the one with the ice guy), I couldn’t help but remember this scene from Clerks:

Because this is one of the first episodes where we see very much inside Hydra, it’s the first where we realize just how much Hydra matches SHIELD.  Like SHIELD, Hydra has secret facilities and awesome technology; like SHIELD, Hydra has world-class scientists and files on everything; and like SHIELD, Hydra has amazing brand management.  It’s always struck me just how much care the SHIELD graphics and art design departments take to brand everything SHIELD.  But this makes sense, in some ways.  The FBI has all sorts of FBI-branded stuff, doesn’t it?

But check this out:

Hydra Jacket

Here we see a Hydra agent being scoped out by a SHIELD sniper.  Right there on her back is a Hydra logo.  We also saw the Hydra logo any number of times in the facility we got to see this episode.  The attention to bureaucratic detail is amazing.  Of course, it’s easy to paint a logo on a wall.  But getting an embroidered jacket?  I love the idea that Hydra not only tasked someone with getting standard jackets for their military operations, but also that they had to get those jackets embroidered. Without uniform jackets, it’s hard to tell who’s a henchman and who isn’t.  Additionally, consider that for most of Hydra’s existence, its nature was so secret that these jackets would have been a dangerous liability. That means these were made since the events of Captain America: Winter Soldier, roughly six months ago. It just seems like a funny thing to have to spend their time on.

Of course, this is the reality of any massive human organization — a certain amount of energy will need to be spent on the overhead of keeping it running smoothly.  Which is where Agents of SHIELD makes an interesting link back to real life.  Here’s an piece from NPR:

The Internet is abuzz with the news of a scathing employee performance review given to an associate of al-Qaida’s North African branch. The employee in question, a man by the name of Mokhtar Belmokhtar, is criticized for neglecting his expense reports, blowing off meetings and wasting his employer’s money, among other complaints.

The juxtaposition is both absurd and macabre: murderous terrorist network as Office Space. It just seems so unlikely that individuals who claim responsibility for taking hundreds of lives also engage in the sort of passive-aggressive bureaucratic sniping we associate with innocuous office jobs.

“Who knew that being an international terrorist was less like James Bond and more like Dilbert?” asked a commenter on Reddit. (link)

We see similar reports now about ISIS and its effective propaganda wing, which is run with a net savvy that you know some Fortune 500 companies are studying.  So the idea of a bureaucracy building up around a massive undertaking seems inevitable.  And thus, it’s not only conceivable that Hydra would have embroidered jackets, it’s almost inevitable.  I do wish they’d used the last sequence to show the man who led this mission sitting in front of his computer, filling out a form to explain the agents and equipment lost on the mission, grumbling about his TPS reports.

Comics Roundup

All You Need Is Kill comic Judge Dredd vol 2 Dear Creature

  • All You Need is Kill adapted from Hiroshi Sakurazaka’s novel by Nick Matamas and Lee Ferguson – Comics have a remarkable facility for telling stories quickly — a few panels can do the work it took pages to do in a novel.  That said, All You Need is Kill feels like the poor ripoff of the novel by the same name.  Its very brief story goes by very quickly, and adds little to the tale.  I’d recommend the novel or the film instead.
  • Judge Dredd, Vol 1 by Duane Swierczynski and Nelson Daniel -Something’s gone wrong in Mega-City one, and Judge Dredd is going to figure out what.  A good recapture of the Dredd sensibility and an amusing new tale of cloning, kidnapping, and bioengineering.  Worth a read if you already like Dredd tales.
  • Dear Creature by Jonathan Case – Probably a winner for the weirdest comic I’ve read this year, this tale of a creature from the deep who loves Shakespeare will surprise you with its wit, its odd story, and its unpredictability.  Also, there are snarky talking crabs and lots of hilarious murder of lusty teenagers.

Captain Stupendous Lady Snow Blood vol 1 Judge Dredd Vol 1

  • Captain Stupendous by Zach Weiner and Chris Jones – Like Married, with Children meets The Incredibles.  The title character and his family are all appalling people who happen to have superpowers, which they don’t use well or nobly.  And it’s very funny.
  • Lady SnowBlood vol 1 by Kazuo Koike & Kazuo Kamimura – A tale of an assassin in 1880s Japan who works for 1,000 yen (which the book tells us is roughly equivalent to 980k yen in 1971).  She was born to a mission of vengeance, and cuts a bloody swath across Japan while she does it.  Dramatic tales of assassination with a dollop of justice and the cleverness we enjoy seeing killers use in these stories.  A lot more nudity than is necessary, but it’s probably par for the course for 1971.
  • Judge Dredd, Vol 2 by Duane Swierczynski and Nelson DanielThe events of the last volume come to a head in this one, with the machine revolution in full swing and the judges under siege from every quarter.  The story picks up steam here and gives the overall book a bit more weight.  Interspersed with the tales of Dredd’s adventures are brief snapshots of life in the awful future.  Particularly great is the tale of the loyal robot butler who was shut down when the machine uprising began, and wakes to find the robots around him murdering everyone.

See also: All You Need is Kill (novel), A few thoughts on re-watching Judge Dredd (film)

Tingle Bells

tingle the bell

3 anecdotes that shape my thoughts on #GamerGate – Boy Scouts, a Cat in the Trash, and a Clockwork Orange

If you don’t know what #GamerGate is, you should be glad.  It’s awful.  Here’s a summary if you don’t know.

Here’s my TL;DR for you:

1. Over the last couple years, a few feminists have been pointing out that many video games perpetuate sexist stereotypes about women, and make little room for women in their stories and gameplay.  The locus of this conversation has been Anita Sarkeesian and her Feminist Frequency video channel.  When Sarkeesian decided to make a series of videos about women in games a couple years ago, some members of the “gamer” community lost its mind, and many members of it began harassing her relentlessly, triggering the Streisand effect and getting Sarkeesian far more money than she would have gotten originally (full disclosure, I pitched in $10 specifically because of this harassment).  The abuse and harassment has not stopped for Sarkeesian in the time since her project began.

2. Sometime recently, the ex-boyfriend of a game developer named Zoe Quinn posted a long rant about what an awful person he thought she was, and she suddenly became the object of all sorts of viciousness and abuse from the net’s most visible denizen of ne’er-do-wells, 4chan’s /b/ forum.  As part of this vitriol, accusations were made that Quinn used sex to advance her games and/or get favorable reviews from game journalists.

3. Hence, #GamerGate, a scandal about games journalism and corruption in game reviewing.  Supposedly.  Except that the hate, vitriol, harassment, abuse, and threats against women are inextricably linked with the people mad about how game reviews are written.  And the loci from which the discussions of the scandal spring are the same, so there’s no way an outsider could understand or see how the individuals inside those groups imagine them to be different.

My intent in writing this piece is not to argue the merits of game journalism corruption, nor to condemn the harassment of women in the gaming industry (which I do hereby condemn) but rather to think about the way the denizens of #GamerGate have handled the accusations that it’s a front for women-harassing assholes.  I have three anecdotes and a thought to share.

1. I was a Boy Scout as a kid, and I have a lot of fond memories of the organization.  But in the last twenty years, a conservative arm of the group has taken over leadership of it and made a number of terrible policies excluding gay leaders and scouts.  I find these decisions appalling, and not in keeping with either the spirit of inclusiveness that is supposed to be at the heart of scouts, nor with the non-demoninational morality the group claims to have.  Hence, because I disagree with these prominent choices associated with the group, I’ve withdrawn my support of it, and won’t be involved with it.

2. In 2010, when a lady was caught on video throwing a cat in a trash can, 4chan found and published her identifying information in less than 24 hours.  Apparently they sent threats and other horrible things her way while they were at it, but my point here is that when they’re angry, this roving group of nuclear id can bring powerful pain down on people they don’t like.  If they really cared about the individuals harassing women in the name of #GamerGate, they would self-police.  Send a threatening tweet? Feel the fury of 4chan.  They have shown themselves to be resourceful, active detectives of the digital sphere.  Failure to act against bad actors in their midst speaks volumes.

3. Anthony Burgess’ novel A Clockwork Orange features a third act (or fifth?  I can never tell which is which) that Stanley Kubrick left out of the film.  The narrator serves his time in prison and tries to return to his old ways, only to find that he’s outgrown them.  He finds that uncivilized behavior, while appealing to youth, creates a false present-hedonism that hampered his ability to be a human being as he grew.  It’s a moment of growth that’s missing from the film.  We learn that groups of young men are particularly good at getting one another to do awful things, but in the long run, those awful things undermine society and the very humanity of the people committing them.

But then I saw this comic (via @granitetide), and it sums up much of what the casual observer will think about #GamerGate.


A final thought:

As Ken White at Popehat has often written, the answer to speech we don’t like is more speech.  Individuals who use their power to try to stop other people from speaking should be opposed with all the strength we can muster, as hampering free and open dialogue cuts to the core of what makes America great.  But the constitutional right to say whatever you like does not mean such statements are ethical or moral. Words have meaning, and have an effect on the people at whom they’re directed.  To associate with people who are acting unconscionably is to endorse that behavior.  The #GamerGate label has been poisoned from the beginning.  It was always-already infused with women-hating harassment, and any attempt to claim a higher ethical purpose cannot be extricated from these roots.If you don’t like how games journalism works, write about games journalism.  If you don’t like the tale that Sarkeesian is telling about how games work, critique that tale.  But to threaten her and her supporters, to harass and frighten opposition across the web, and to demand that people join your worldview or face terror is to forego freedom for tyranny.

A few thoughts on Android: Netrunner (part 1)

netrunnerFirst off, it’s awesome.  I played the original version of the game a couple times with Andrew “Bird in a Pump” Kozma back in ol’ Gainesville.  I still have those three starter decks hanging out in my game box.  (I wonder if anyone would notice me mixing those cards in?)  But we never got into the game the way we did Jyhad (another buttload of cards I have squirreled away in a box downstairs).  So those starters are just curiosities now.

But after playing the amazing LCG Game of Thrones with Paul and Kate and realizing that it made no sense for me to buy my own copy of that game (I can play with them if I want), I recalled with fondness the Netrunner games of yore.  Then, I saw an episode of Shut up and Sit Down (also recommended by Kozma, I believe) in which Quinns went on and on about how much he liked Netrunner.  And I felt the bug.  It festered for about a week before I bought the game, and then it took a bit longer before Avery and I got to play it.  But now that we have, whooo doggies, is it fun.

What the heck is this thing?

ffg_noise-coreNetrunner is a two player game played with cards.  One person represents a corporation, trying to accomplish its businessy agendas.  If it manages to score seven points worth of agendas (which are usually worth 1-3 points each), it wins.  It scores the agendas by placing them in “servers” protected by “Ice,” nasty computer programs designed to stop and sometimes harm intruders.  The other player represents a hacker, someone looking to steal these agendas from the corporation.  The hacker uses a variety of “icebreaker” programs to slip past the protective defenses and steal the agenda cards from the corporation.  There are plenty of other nuances, but that’s the general gist of it.

The big difference between this and most two player games is that the players are on very different footing.  They have different cards and different methods for achieving their goals.  So playing corp and playing runner are distinctly different experiences, a state that makes the game fun.

A few notes about these notes:

1. We’re only using the core deck at this point.  I’m going to limit myself to a very slow ramp up of the expansions, both so we get to learn the cards well and so Jenny doesn’t get too peeved at my profligate game expenditures.

2. So far I haven’t been able or willing to bring myself to play against experienced players yet.  I will probably do that at some point, but for now it’s mostly me and Avery and Paul.

3. We’ve only just dabbled in deckbuilding a very little bit — so far we’re mostly playing the core decks as they come in the box.

So all that aside, I have somewhere around fifteen games under my belt now, with four as runner and eleven as corp.

Early lessons for new players (from a new player, so maybe this is all rubbish):

ffg_project-junebug-core1. It’s all about the Benjamins credits.  No matter how much wicked ICE you have or what awesome icebreakers you have, without the credits to run/rez them, you’re SOL.  So paying attention to your moneymaking cards and really digging those out quickly can pay off big.  I’ve also liked having the “retrieve from your trash” cards that let you go back in and get those money cards out right quick.

2. The CORE decks are good, but as soon as you can, you want to start mixing and matching.  It’s too easy, once you’ve played them apart, to anticipate many of the things your opponent will do.  Jinteki will threaten your life, so hold on to those cards.

3. Information is really valuable.  It’s worth credits and clicks to find it.

Overall, I really like this game so far, and highly recommend that you buy it so we can play some games sometime.  Next time, some beginner thoughts on the corps and hacker factions.

A few more SPOILERY thoughts on [REC]3

I had a few more thoughts to share about [REC]3 that, frankly, stray into cranky rant territory.  Nearly every comment below will also be a spoiler.  Consider yourself fairly warned. (Here’s my original review, if you missed it.)So as to keep your wandering eye from accidentally seeing a spoiler, I now include a photo of one of the best secondary characters in the story SpongeJohn.

Sponge JohnThey explain that his costume is distinct and not at all infringing on another spongy rectangular character.  It’s pretty funny.  Later, during the zombie fighting part, someone asks him why he’s still in the stupid costume, and he admits he’s not wearing clothes underneath. On to the spoilers!

While I liked [REC]3, it suffered from the same flaw many films about fast zombies make — giving the protagonists time to rest or, rather, letting them take time to rest while they’re under the gun.  The worst example of this was when the bride and the groom meet up again and they spend a good 30 seconds kissing and hugging, when just before they reunited, both were worried about zombies bearing down on them.  Infuriating!

I mentioned this a bit before, but this movie is intentionally funny in ways the previous [REC] films have not been.  It’s a little disconcerting to see such a strong tone shift in a series like this.  Three examples: the bride/chainsaw bit, the giggling uncle zombie, and the mean zombie behind the curtain.  This last one is especially silly — Koldo and his friend are sneaking through the wedding reception building when a zombie reaches out from behind a curtain and grabs Koldo’s friend, pulls him behind the curtain, and starts making chowing down noises.  Koldo stands there a minute, in shock, when the shield his friend was carrying shoots out from below the curtain like something out of a cartoon.  He basically shrugs and sneaks away.  Later, when fighting his giggling uncle, Kolko selects a weapon from among the myriad things available in the industrial kitchen: an immersion blender.  He then proceeds to grind the giggling uncle’s face in with the blender, like a tiny version of the lawn-mower from Dead Alive.  Lame.

What a problem the quarantine has caused!  If only the survivors / semi-survivors in these stories could broadcast the fact that reading the Bible will stop these demonic zombies in their tracks.  how helpful that would be!

Because Clara and Koldo (the bride and groom) are the main characters, the other people with them are in far more danger of getting chomped by a zombie than they themselves are.  Thus, the traveling parties turn into clusters of red shirts to provide plot moments throughout.

The biggest “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” moment for me was when Clara was walking with two dudes, SpongeJohn and one of the groomsmen, and they get to a decision point.  “Stay here,” they say, and off they go, looking for a place to hide.  Of course, while they’re gone, Clara gets menaced and nearly chomped by her mom.  She gets saved, but in the time it takes her to recover from seeing her mom shot, other zombies gather and they get SpongeJohn.  If they had just stuck together, when they found the entrance to the sewers, they could have gone in together and none of that would have happened. ARGH.

What these ranty moments highlight for me is the way the filmmakers missed their opportunity to really continue the media-panopticon aspect of the [REC] series that made it so special.  Major bummer.

Thanks for your restraint, Stan Lee

Dr Strange hides his spell

I love this panel.  Stan Lee had to hold off from revealing the words of Dr. Strange’s invocation so that his readers wouldn’t use this spell to wreak havoc across the nation.  One wonders if this was already a problem.  Kids were standing up to bullies by waving their hands and calling on the “hoary hordes of Hoggoth!”

Tweets from 2014-10-05 to 2014-10-11