Jim Varney

A Man Who Never Tasted Quiche

I read in the paper today that Jim Varney died of lung cancer at age fifty. I was sad about it all day. In speaking with several people I learned that the man who made "Ernest" a name synonymous with pratfalls and "Vern!" was at least well known, if not well liked. Most even expressed some sense of regret at his passing.

Hey Vern! It's Ernest! I went to Hollywood Video and rented two of my favorite Varney films: Ernest Goes to Camp and The Beverly Hillbillies. In watching these movies that were favorites of mine when I was younger but had since been forgotten, I found that Varney's talent was much more complex and thoughtful than it would first appear to be.

Ernest P. Warrell was a human cartoon character. In watching Ernest Goes to Camp, I realized that most of the film plays like a Loony Tunes cartoon. Ernest gets his fingers caught in a window, falls off a ladder, and is spun around by a bus with impunity. One scene even references his cartoonish actions; Ernest is attacked by badgers after taunting them with the Porky-Piggian statement, "ebedabedab." Each time, he seems to recover, only to endure more injury as though he were a live action version of Wile E. Coyote.

Ernest Goes To Camp! Yet there are two aspects of Ernest Goes to Camp that make it more worthwhile than your run-of-the-mill slapstick kids comedy. The first is (in an echo of Loony Tunes) the film's obscure humor, which is peppered throughout the film. Like Bugs Bunny before him (and Groucho before that), Ernest slips little nuggets of hilarity in with the constant assault on his body. For example, when Ernest is trying to ignore the pain of a hypodermic needle, he begins confessing as though he's being tortured, shouting: "I did it! I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby!" Later, giving his campers a speech to rouse their enthusiasm for a walk in the woods, he says "Stick together, keep an eye on the weather, and for heaven's sake, don't pick it or it will never heal."

At the same time that the film uses cartoonish violence as a means of plot movement, it also reinforces, almost too heavy-handedly, the ideas of teamwork, honesty, and, believe it or not, integrity. Because if there's one thing Ernest is, it's earnest (I couldn't resist). The audience is able to see that his attempts at macho ("I'm a man who's never tasted quiche!") are not what makes Ernest a lovable character, but rather his honesty and integrity are what make him lovable and even, yes, admirable.

After all, when Ernest is tricked into helping "Grandfather" sign away the rights to the land, he does not pass off blame on others, but takes everything on himself. He's even willing to sacrifice himself for what he believes in. He takes responsibility - something it's good for kids to see. I'm not trying to argue that Ernest is the best role model in children's' film, but he's certainly not the worst.

The other film of Varney's that I watched is The Beverly Hillbillies, one of the best TV to film adaptations I've seen. Part of its success lies in the fabulous supporting cast: Lily Tomlin, Cloris Leachman, Dabney Coleman, Lea Thompson, and Rob Schneider. But, I would argue, a huge part of the film's success lies in the strong portrayal of the Hillbillian patriarch, Jed Clampett, by Jim Varney.

The Beverly Hillbillies! Jed is a simple man of simple pleasures, the straight man to most of the comedy that swirls around him. It seems as though Jed is the perfect incarnation for Varney, who played the role seven years ago. He is older, wise in life but not in the ways of the modern world. Best of all, like Ernest, he's honest above all. Also like Ernest, his fatal flaw is no Oedipal pride or Achillian Rage, but instead Ernestian naivete.

There are two quotes in the film that I thought best expressed this part of Jed. The first is near the beginning of the film, when his sister is speaking with him. She says something to the effect of: "Why Jed Clampett, you're living so primitive! You've got no 'lectricity, no phone, no television, not even a radio." He answers "Yup, we're pretty much in heaven." The other perfect line comes later in the film, when Jed says "Well, I reckon you done what you done 'cuz you didn't know we wuz who we wuz. If'n we hadn't'a been who we wuz, we'd still be much obliged for you a doin' what ya done." Damn funny!

In Beverly Hillbillies, once again, Varney's character is caught up by his own trustful nature. In what is probably nothing more than an odd coincidence, both Ernest and Jed make their mistake in taking someone's word about what a document says when they sign it. In both cases, dire consequences are narrowly avoided. Yet the film's narratives and Varney's portrayals put a Forrest-Gump attitude about the world in the minds of Ernest and Jed. In other words, they seem to be nearly unaffected by the events that have transpired. Ernest ends the film like he began it, falling off a ladder; Jed ends the film with the closing song of the television show, implying that he'll be back, unaffected, next week.

One final note about Varney's work in these films. Not only does he do a fabulous job in his acting, be it as Ernest, Jed, or the Springy dog in Toy Story, but in both films discussed here, he also sings a song. He sings the closing credits song for Beverly Hillbillies, a decent cover of "Hot Rod Lincoln." In Ernest Goes to Camp, the song he sings is very much like a song from the Muppets; its refrain is "What they wanted was a hero - all I needed was a friend."

Well Jim, I'd say that we needed both, and you gave them to us. KnowwhutImean?

--riles


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