Ncedisa Mayeko: Personal Revelations
Most of us work and we are almost forced to get someone to do the cleaning for us but we will never allow anyone to cook for our husbands or make our beds for us. So, the answer to that question is "yes we are proud of our culture"; it is just a different culture to that of the generation before us.
We know and understand that even though we are living in the 21st century we cannot ask our husbands to cook, clean the house or change diapers, we accept and understand that this is not Xhosa like. I ask myself again, are we proud of our culture? Yes indeed, we only added and subtracted form our culture to suit the times we live in.
Do we know who we are?
I am a Xhosa woman and I belong to the Gqwashu clan; from Manzini, Gxiya, Lawu, Siyaphi……. and you can go on with the names of my great- grand fathers until you reach Buzo (the man whose name has been used as my surname). We know and do not question the fact that we are not allowed to have romantic relationships with people from the same clans as ours.
Every young Xhosa woman knows that a goat must be slaughetered to welcome us to the different stages of our lives. A goat is slaughetered to welcome a child into the family (imbeleko), when we get married the in- laws slaughter a goat to welcome us, when we eventually pass away as women after a number of years our in-laws have to slaughter a goat and not a cow which is true for men in order to accompany our spirits to the ancestors. We know and accept that anyone who is older than ourselves should be respected and that we should never call them by their first names. We know that there should never be a time when someone else is starving, does not have money to pay for bus fare and we sit and do nothing even though we have the money or food to give to the person.